My cousin grew up in a violent home. Her father was an alcoholic and would cause harm to the family when under the influence. He was as nice and gentle as could be when he was not drinking heavily. When my cousin would visit me, she would always be afraid that her father would hurt her mother or brother.
My cousins and aunt coped with the violence in the home by talking to family members and utilizing the school counselors. There were several times when neighbors would step in and assist them. I can recall several occasions when they would try to cover up things that happened to them.
One sad afternoon, my uncle had been drinking and came home to continue the unfortunate act. My auntie realized that she finally had ebough and wanted to make a change not only for her but for her children. While my uncle was at work, she attempted to leave. Guess what???????? He decided to go home for lunch to apologize and make up. My aunt was packing the car and saw him drive up. Luckily she had the car packed. He began to ask questions. She told him that she had enough and was leaving. He really did not like that answer. She ensured that the children were in the car and tried to back out of the garage. As she was backing out of the garage, he pulled out a gun and shot her in the head twice, killing her on the spot. That was a tragedy.
After researching Africa, I read that HIV/Aids impact the development of their young children. To minize the spread of Aids in Africa, they are encouraging more people to se condoms and prevention campaigns are being done. ne of the most important ways in which the situation in Africa can be improved is through increased funding for HIV/AIDS. More money would help to improve both prevention campaigns and the provision of treatment and care for those living with HIV
In many African countries, sexual relationships are dominated by men, meaning that women cannot always practice safer sex even when they know the risks involved. Attempts are currently being made to develop a microbicide – a cream or gel that can be applied to the vagina, preventing HIV infection – which could be a significant breakthrough in protecting women against HIV.
Hi Katrina,
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your loss; this is such a sad tragedy; there are violence in many homes which many children are affected by it; it is good that your cousins talked to their family members as well as counselors because there are so many children who are afraid to talk about what is going on. How are your cousins doing, they really had a lot to endure..May God continue to be with them.
What a tragedy it is that the human animal is so territorial... how many times do we hear it about someone else's family... to have it strike so close to home is heartbreaking...
ReplyDeleteSuch violence is unfortunately not so unusual I suspect. I know of a man that meets with our DADS Neighborhood Action Council sometimes that ran away from home because of the violence in his home, only to repeat the cycle with his own family until he decided he needed to break the cycle.
NAEYC has a brochure on the cycle of violence for educators... it is available in spanish and english...
The tragic thing is that the consequences of violence continue for generations. This violence against women and this "machismo" is rooted in our popular culture... we need look no further than the Twilight books and movies - so popular - and yet, such a dangerous message to girls about what is desirable in men...
I've seen it in my my women friends... they've passed over the "nerdy guys" in favor of the "dangerous men"... sometimes the consequences are awful... intelligent, independent women finding themselves being stalked or intimidated by foolish men that have been raised to believe that a sign of the manhood is their aggressiveness nature.
It's a cycle that both men and women contribute to... I am not so foolish as to blame the victim... and yet, men, from a young age are victimized by gender roles and expectations and the pressures to be "manly" in our society.
As someone who as a child wished that I had what it took to get the attention of women... as someone who tried quite unsuccessfully to be the stereotypic male... what we wouldn't have traded a children to be that star of the football team...
Why? because the girls in our class weren't so much interested in the guys like us, taking calculus and world literature and physics...
And then, as we grow into our manhood, even we become the fools that believe that our power lies in our aggressive natures.
No one wins... and the children, more than anyone... they who have not chosen their parents - they lose most of all.
Hi, Katrina many situations occur like this. Thanks for sharing such a touching story. I believe that more support groups should be available even for teens because they also experience much dating violence. Belinda you also shared great information and I will visit NAEYC'S website to view the brochure. Great work.
ReplyDeleteYour cousins were forced to endure more than what any child should. How are they doing now? Do they view this experience as a tool in their own life? I have known people in similar situations that have identified it as just that...a tool to remind them of the fragility of life and the power to make positive impacts in the lives of others.
ReplyDeleteWow, I am truly sorry to hear about your Aunt. I know that took a toll on your family and especially the kids since they witnessed it. I really wish that they fully recover from that incident. I doubt it though being a fellow victim of abuse myself. Touching blog and I wish you and your family safety and health.
ReplyDeleteI know children who suffered the same type of loss at the hands of their father when they were young children. I don't know how any child can recover fully from that, but I do know that they returned to their father's' care in later years when he returned from prison. Church, psychosocial development, and lots of close family helped in their case.
ReplyDeleteAFRICA---The children are malnourished and need so much in realm of health and health care that they do no have long life expectancy and will have brain impairment most likely. Medicine is making AIDES more controllable, but uneducated men rape baby girls and virgins, thinking that sex with them will rid themselves of the virus.
Wooooooow!!!! That was some deep stuff! So a woman HAS to have sex with the man regardless...omg...That has me shook. Now I really have to put some more things into perspective..."life ain't crystal stair" but still, I have no reason to complain! Thank you for this information. God bless...
ReplyDeleteI'm glad your family is alright. So many of these type of cases go unknown. You story touched my heart.
ReplyDeleteI had a husband that was verbably abusive. He one day made a threat at me, a few years later I divorce him.This was after many years of verbal abuse. Thanks for sharing you story.